Muahaha..

You might think that I’m crazy, but I just want to be strong, I know I can, all I need to do is let memories be memories. I cannot do it immediately, but I will try. Down times might still be often, hehe but other than that I will live happily, I know i tried, I know I fought hard, but to no avail. No regrets.

Alright peeps, any eligible bachelor please introduce to me. Must be above 22 years old, male doh, at least 170cm in height, below 70kg (unless he’s got to-die-for body), must have the basic 3 Cs – car, credit card, cash. Preferably with Bosco Wong kinda looks please. Lol.

Nah, don’t be stupid. I’m not that crazy hehe.

I’d been happy, I fought, I tried, I thought of hating and be enemies, I thought of making things ugly, but nah, its gonna make myself feel worse. I’d rather be there, just like how I’ve always been. I hope you feel the same too, don’t be afraid that I’ll be sad, cuz I’ve already been thru the saddest. I hope we’ll be the same as the times before that faithful day in October, okay? *winkz*

Oggie, enough di.. and yeah I’m a superwoman muahaha /hail me =D

<3

Today indeed, is a very blue day, the environment so tension, and solemn. Everyone seem to be pms-ing, including myself (had been since last week grrr). Sigh. All I did in the office today was sighing and controlling my emotions.

I was talking to Bev today, for the first time i see her so down, i see her cried – which eventually made me cry too. =.= I feel sorry for her, at the same time I feel sorry for myself too.. sigh.

I sometimes hate myself for doing something, and then regret. For saying something, and then regret. Argh, when will I ever learn to control the pms? sigh.

I feel so empty.. okay, my stomach was empty as well.. wanted to eat the wan tan mee, but the auntie said “long wait” then i didn’t want to eat the kai farn.. didn’t really feel like eating something filling actually, i just needed kopi-o ice. Then I had some bread..

Today, mom cook my fav dishes, even with the light lunch, I didn’t really feel like eating. I quietly put back the rice to the rice cooker after my maid took for me, swallowed a few dishes, and finish the bowl of soup. Good way to diet actually.

I feel so darn lost, argh, i hate waiting. And i feel like i’m waiting for something that wouldn’t happen. I want to control what I think, but i cannot freaking turn the nerves in my head to stop them from thinking about………………………sigh.

There’s no reply when I said those words now.. and its all because of me.

Sigh.

<3

Yesterday was a long day.. didn’t have anything to do in the afternoon.. So I took my laptop, went to Gobi and sat there for about 2 hours..

Went home in the evening, then went to the bank with my mom to settle some debts.. did nothing until dinner time, took a quick one.

Ended up chatting with Moo and Tracy online, they both had nothing to do either, so we decided to come out for a drink and blow the cake that Ai Xin got for Moo.. so sweet! Went to pick Moo at about 10pm.. then flew to Subang to pick Tracy.. and went to 1 Station in SS15.

poser!

It was a fairly happy outing, though something was missing.. but I was glad because I could talk to someone who knew how it feels. Haha Moo and I were so down, and Tracy was just laughing at us. =.=

yalah, i know the cake is nice

We did the candle thing, and then we video called Ai Xin.. after that, Moo was all down again -_________- he’s so cute, and he look like a lost puppy haha. After that those 2 kept smsing on their phones, I’m like WThhhhh.. I was always the one doing that, and then they said “haha now you know how we felt” =.= thanks, peeps.

wanna kill someone is it?

Anyhow, thanks for the great company.. and Moo, please remove that stupid picture of me in your blog! He’s got this new phone where he can blog from it. GGgrrr.. i sent them home.. and reached home at about 1am.. couldn’t really sleep, lazed around listening to the song.. n of course, my stupid tears are making up for the loss time.

Ron then called me.. what a stupid timing, i ended up sobbing at him for 2 hours, also, LAUGHING at his stupid jokes =.=” I stopped at 3am.. tried to go to sleep but I couldn’t.. i think i fell asleep somewhere within 4 or 5am..

then at 7:30am i just jumped up again, subconsciously hoping that it was all a nightmare.. then i realised that its not.. i could only question, how could this happen to me? Must there be nightmare after a dream come true? n I sobbed until 8:30 to get ready for work…

me, Tracy and Moo..

Happy Birthday, Moo.. big boi adi yaaa.. be good. Hang in there okay? and thanks for the pat on the head.. i could use one some time..

<3